


Destroyed

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 30 Day Whump Prompt Challenge, Heavy Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Past Torture, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Romantic Angst, though I don’t know how whumpy it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 17:57:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16023032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Poe Dameron struggles to come to grips post-Crait.





	Destroyed

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author’s Notes: For the prompt “crying”.

It’s away from the others on the Millennium Falcon that Poe actually has time to let it all sink in. Finn’s taking care of Rose, Rey’s off with Leia, and Poe just has…time. He’s cried before. Most recently was the torture — when Kylo Ren rummaged around in his mind, clawed through it so ruthlessly, so carelessly. 

When _Ben_ did that. Poe would know that face anywhere. When he strode out of that shuttle to face Luke on Crait — Poe felt like he had been hit in the chest, but he kept it carefully locked away.

It’s in the privacy of a room on the Falcon that he clutches a pillow, trembles. A sob escapes him, and then a tear. He doesn’t want to do this. Crying means you lose control. He remembers Ren’s fingers prying through his mind, bringing up Ben saying goodbye to him — and that was when he cried. That was when he’d screamed, because his heart was broken all over again.

“ _Ben…will I ever see you again?”_

He had seen Ben again. Just in the worst way possible.

BB-8 rolls in in that moment, dwoos softly.

“I’m okay, buddy.” He’s not, of course — he’s far from okay. But he knows if the next tear escapes, so will the next, and the next, and definitely the next…

An inquisitive beep.

“It’s Ben. Kriff, I…I hate him.” _And I hate that I love him still. That I’m in love with him._

BB-8 dwoos softly.

“I mean…it’s complicated, dammit. It’s like…two sides of the same credit chip. I didn’t get it then, but I sure as hell get it now.” Poe sighs. “I just don’t understand, buddy. Whatever he was going through, I could have helped him. I could have…”

His voice cracks, and more tears escape. BB-8 rolls up to him, stays with him even as he finally lets every bit of heartbreak, guilt, betrayal, and mixed love and hate flow down his face into the pillow.


End file.
